Facilitation Tips: How to Avoid a Vulnerability Hangover

Facilitation Tips to help you and your friends keep connecting and avoid the next day regret, known as a vulnerability hangover.

How does it feel when you're on the verge of a vulnerability hangover?

You know, that feeling where you've shared too much? The knot in the stomach and tightness in the chest. The nagging thoughts of should I share that? Am I saying too much? Will they still like me if I speak my truth?

The most ironic part about this is that it can happen even if you had an amazing game and deep conversation with some great people.

In today's blog post we will talk about how to avoid vulnerability hangovers by having excellent facilitation skills with the Cards for Connection game!

We all experience vulnerability hangovers from time to time. By having great facilitation, you can help reduce the chances of this happening and create a safe space for connection. Agreements at the beginning of the game will help set the tone and expectations so that everyone can relax and enjoy themselves.

The beauty of all of the decks is that the fill-in-the-blank cards let you choose just how deep you go in this moment.

The Cards for Connection® game is a fabulous way to practice and apply self-awareness in your communication, especially when you use these three agreements.

Three Recommended Agreements:

Not only are these great agreements for a game, they are also amazing tools to use in our daily lives. Really, they are always available to us - but not often explicitly stated. They are also building blocks for more mindfulness and self-awareness.

1. Lean into your edge

means to stay curious, and explore your edges. What are you afraid of? What makes you feel uncomfortable? When do you feel most alive?

Taking care of yourself means that we need to be kind and patient with ourselves. Beating ourselves up for past mistakes or not being perfect only creates more suffering. We can't change the past,

2. Take care of your needs

Sometimes you might already feel vulnerable, so just opening up a little can feel like a lot. be patient with yourself in those moments and allow yourself more space, in service to your needs.

3. Stay present

Presence is being here, now, in the moment. The past is gone and the future has not happened yet. This is all we have, this moment. When we are able to stay present, it helps us connect more deeply with ourselves and others.

So by having great facilitation skills with cards for connection, you can help reduce the chances of vulnerability hangovers.


Using these facilitation tips in your next game will help all the players find the beautiful balance between leaning into the edge and jumping off the cliff.

We'll use the games and our facilitation skills to foster deeper self-awareness for players through the practice to checking in with ourselves to make sure we're getting what we need.

Take care and stay open :)

xoxo, erin hickok AKA The Connectress

Related Decks

  • Cards for Connection┬« deck available here
  • Cards for Love & Relationships deck available here
  • Facilitation Deck coming soon!!┬á


Q: Does being open and vulnerable mean that you share everything?

A: No! It's a common myth that to win, you have to be the most vulnerable. We're playing an infinite game here, so that means sometimes we're more open than other times. It's healthy to have boundaries and that's a big part of being vulnerable. Please be gentle with yourself as you practice and discover what it feels like to feel balanced in your level of openness.

Q: Are these the only agreements you recommend?

A: No! These are my basic recommendation to get you started. Agreements will vary based on what it is you are doing together and how much trust is already there.

Q: What if someone doesn't want to share?

A: It's totally okay for someone not to want to share! They can simply pass and participate by listening to other players. We are agents of our own choice and have the right to change our minds and level of participation at any time.

Q: Can these agreements be used in other contexts?

A: Absolutely! These agreements can be used in any situation where you want to create a safer and more open space for connection. They can be used in conjunction with other agreements too.

Link to more facilitation articles here. (coming soon)

Link to more agreements articles here. (coming soon)